I've been inspired

Reading other friends blogs I have come to an understanding of what I should be writing about from here on out.....me. I know, I know, it seems like an obvious answer, but it's one of the hardest things anyone can ask me to do. I don't like talking about myself. Mainly, I think there are many more interesting people out there, but I also have a hard time opening up and just letting loose about myself.....just ask my husband.

So I guess I'm going to start over and tell you about my childhood and where I am today.

I'm 31 years old, although, if you ask me I will always lie and tell you that I'm 26. I was born in a very small town, Franklin, NC. My parents uprooted their lives from Tarpon Springs, FL and moved to the mountains because Tarpon was really getting busy, big, rampant with crime and they didn't want to start a family in that atmosphere.

My dad was the first father that was able to stay in the delivery room.....my parents insisted that he got to stay. So he did. No problems from that or anything, but I thought that was kinda neat.

My dad. He's everything I want to be. He was born with an eyelid problem. I'm not sure what the diagnosis was called, but he had droopy eyelids. They had to perform surgery when he was little because he couldn't open his eyes. There was too much skin that prevented him from opening his eyes. I also want to say that there weren't muscles in his eyelids either. Not sure. I do know that he got a lot of grief from many people as some people have to make fun of everyone for one reason or another.

Dad and I have always been pretty close. There have been a lot of times where we wanted to kill each other, but we can't stay mad at each other long. The last fight I remember having with him, I told him something....can't remember what, but he told me "go to Hell" and I said "maybe I will". We left that conversation that way. I regret whatever I said to him to cause him to lose his cool.

He's VERY laid back. He's serious when he needs to be, but there's always a calmness around him. Even animals come up to him; animals that NEVER come up to other people....just him. Mom told me once that he went hunting, he had to kill a deer and he cried for that animal. He never did it again. I always felt worse for him as he was the one to bury the family pets and he would always cry over them. I always appreciated that he cried. He showed his human side....showed that he cared.

Even now, when he comes to our house, he will sit on the couch and, Princess, the shy cat, will immediately come out of hiding and sit on his lap for a long while. I hope that Mackenzie sees how gentle her PawPaw is.

There are times when I look back at my life and I wonder how he feels about situations that have happened in my life and wonder how much he blames himself for those things. I know that for months he would cry himself to sleep. I just can't bring myself to blame him for anything that's happened.

He's worked for Radio Shack of Franklin for 28 years, or maybe longer. He's very dedicated even though they work him to the bone. He started as a tv repairman, back when the tvs had tubes in them. Then they had him in delivery and installation.....climbing on steep roofs in Highlands, carrying heavy tvs in, rewiring systems, installing car radios, GPS systems, you name it.

There are a couple of things that I will always laugh at when I think of him:
1. When I went to his work during teacher workdays or after school, he would have me come over to the tv that he was working on and ask me which wire was which color. He was color blind. What irony! I would always laugh and help him out as he soldered the correct wires back together again.
2. During one of Radio Shack's commercials, we watched as dad blew up a tv....that was something to behold as they introduced my father, the tv repairman, you see a very visual blow and smoke coming out of the tv.....they quickly moved to something else. No one else ever knew that.....he just told his family.
3. For my mom's birthday, he made her a chocolate cake. I don't think he cooked it long enough, or let it cool long enough, for when he assembled the 2 layers of the cake, it split in the middle and we had the "earthquake" cake with molten chocolate lava oozing off the cake, plate, counter...you get the picture, right?
4. His smile. He has a beautiful smile....and his eyes are still a little droopy. Almost looks like he's high....and he is, just without the drugs. :)
5. His love for God and others. There were many times when he would take me to neighbors or other communities and deliver taped sermon messages to shut-ins. Some people would scare the poop out of me....their lifestyle, houses, they would really help me appreciate the home that my parents built and kept for me.
6. He never complains. I certainly didn't get this quality from him. But his back would be killing him and he'd never say a word. He would have the flu, and never complain.

I know there are many more, but scared that I may be boring you to tears, so I will leave this alone for now. I guess my next blog will be about mom......a totally different story.